LUIS EMULATED MY PAST BY JOSÉ-LUIS – MIGUELITO’S UNCLE
The following account was published together with “I Can Only Trust Me” by Luis Miguelito de Argentina in the January-February 1991 issue of the NAMBLA Bulletin (Volume XII, No. 1), pp. 17-19. “I Can Only Trust Me” was republished in pp. 39-41 of Diary of a Dirty Boy: Collected Writing of Luis Miguel Fuentes and is therefore not included here.
Luis Miguel(ito) was born in late 1976, so since his uncle was then thirteen and nearly ten at the time of the story recounted here, it must have taken place in 1972 or 1973.
Luis emulated my past
Every time I sit down to write, all that I come up with are pictures of my nephew and his confusion. I guess what I should do is start by introducing myself. My name is Jose Luis; My nephew, Luis Miguelito. I’m sure that you are all familiar with him through the columns. A lot of the things that he goes through are things that I can relate to. Luis spent a lot of time trying to emulate my past, trying to do the things I did while growing up. You probably know about my past, or at least the fact that I am Spanish (Dominican and Argentinian) and, like Luis, grew up in Washington Heights, New York.
I started turning tricks when I was going on 10. I always hung out with older kids, around 13 and 14 years old. One day we all decided to go downtown to 42nd Street. It was a hot July day. Between myself and four friends, we only had $6! We wandered into Playland between 42nd and 43rd Street. Games everywhere. Kids from all parts of the city. Men and older teens. Yo, the place was filled to the brim. Lights flashing, machines screaming - the works. I just bugged out with my mouth open, amazed. Ricardo, the leader of our little gang gave out three quarters to everyone, and let us go mingle. In less than three minutes, I selected a pinball machine with enough inside to keep me interested, inserted my quarter and started a game that would change my entire life.
I could feel someone staring at me from behind. I turned and saw a young guy about 20 or 21 smiling at me. He was neatly dressed: Levis, sneakers, and a tank top. I smiled back. He looked real strong and handsome standing there, but what the fuck is he smiling at? He came up to me and asked if he could treat me to the next game. SURE!
A little about me. I have 7 brothers, both older and younger. I never knew my father. My mother had more men in and out of the house than the local bar.
So, here we are back in Playland. Stranger asks me my name and I tell him - Joey. I ask him his and he tells me. David. We played and he asked me if I was hungry, or maybe wanted to see a movie. Shit - SURE! I told my friend that I just ran into my uncle and have to leave now. They didn't really give a fuck, cause I was always just taggin along anyway.
Me and my newfound friend broke to Howard Johnsons where I quickly devoured two cheeseburgers and fries (my actual first meal in two days). Dave asked what movie I wanted to see. I picked some bullshit flick that I can't even remember the name of. What I do remember is that I kept wondering why he was being so nice to me, and he only knew me for about half an hour.
Once the lights went out, this was answered quickly. I felt a warm hand on my bare leg. I had on my summer gym shorts. Inching up and up, until his hand was on my thigh. My dick grew hard and I grew real uncomfortable. David whispered in my ear, “What’s the matter. Joey? You want the money up front?”
“Yeah,” I said. (“What money?” I was thinking to myself.) He handed me a $20 bill; more than I ever owned. Shit! I put that bill in my sneaker faster than lightning. David reached out and placed his hand right onto my dick. He was feeling me up good when I decided I had to pee. I ran to the bathroom, and returned. Something was real special about him. I don’t know, but magic was in the air. When I sat down, Dave placed his windbreaker over my lap. He said, ”Joey, lower your shorts!” I dropped them to my mid-thighs and he placed his hand in the middle. He wrapped his fingers around me and started pumping. I knew what he was doing from playing around with my older friends, but I also knew I couldn’t cum yet. Without asking him, I reached out and grabbed his dick through his pants. He was harder than a rock and bigger than anything I ever seen.
Dave said, “Joey, what time do you gotta go home?”
“No time, Dave. My mother probably won’t be home till real late and I usually stay out with friends at their houses on weekends.”
Dave said. “Let’s go to my apartment so we can relax and get to know each other.” (I was like, shit, he got my shorts down and I’m grabbing his dick. How much more can we get to know each other?)
Dave had a one-bedroom apartment on 47th and 9th. Nice. Small, but nice. The building we lived in should be condemned. As a matter of fact, the building I lived in at that time collapsed about four years ago. Dave flicked on the TV and got himself a beer. He asked if I wanted one. I said, “No, but if he got some reefer, I like to smoke.” He laughed, but I told him I was serious. He went to his bedroom and came out with a joint, which we shared. Reefer always gets met hard for some reason. My mom always smoked. David saw that I was hard, cause my shorts were popped up in the front. He suggested that I take off my clothes and relax. I felt strange cause I just met this guy, but the reefer had me going, so I agreed. Dave came to me on the couch and asked if I would like a massage. I was in 100%.
I laid on my stomach and he returned with a towel and rubbing alcohol. He started on my feet. I was in heaven. In my life no one ever gave me this much attention. He had me spread my legs and was working on my butt for a long time. I was pushing myself up to him as his hands were working overtime. What Dave proceeded to do really bugged me out. He parted my cheeks and started kissing and licking my butt hole. I was squirming under him. He carried me to his bed, where he had me lay on top of him. Was on top jerking him off while he was sucking my dick, balls and ass. In about three minutes he shot sperm all over, and I mean all over. In my hair, on my face, everywhere. I showered and lounged in his house naked for the rest of the night.
I asked Dave if I could spend the night. He said it was fine if I didn’t mind sharing his bed. During the night he woke me up by licking my ass. I played sleep and let him carry on. I felt him get up off the bed. He returned within seconds and started to spread an ointment on my butt. Hmmmmmmm. A dick angled to my hole and a push of his hips. He entered me pretty easily. It burned, but felt good in a strange way. I stayed at Dave’s for about two months, when things just became hectic. He was bringing home other boys from the deuce, but would always spend the night with me. I just had a hard time adjusting to his lifestyle. Even though he never stopped giving me attention, I was just always jealous.
When I decided to go home, I already knew I would be back quite often to visit. David left me with $300, so I could give some to my mom and buy some things for me. I just told her I was with a friend and was working and saving. Anyway, there were many more adventures of this type the whole time I was growing up. By the time I was 14 I was paying rent for both my mother and my grandmother.
Ya see my sister is Luis’s mother. After she had her kids, she would tell them constant stories of my tales, warning them at the same time not to get too involved like me. When I was 13 he was born. My sister was a year and a half older than me. By the time my sister came to New York I was already going on 20. My sister was lost about a year later. Too much cocaine and heroin. Luis stayed with me much of his youth, on and off. He was turning tricks for his mother since he was about eight. He and I are very close and always have been. I am a professional writer and he is blessed with a talent; a true talent with little-to-no schooling. At 14, he is his own man, as I was.
Between myself and a few of my other brothers, we try to help him and guide him as much as possible. Sometimes he slips. Sometime he falls into depression. Lately he has been good with the drugs. It is hard to grow up on the streets these days, especially with the crack crisis. He hasn’t smoked for a while. Sometimes he slips into this death trip shit. If he could only see how much he has to offer the world.
He has hooked up a close friendship with a writer in the boy love world, Kevin Esser, and their dreams of togetherness holds him together. Their relationship is held on a pedestal by Luis. This is all he has talked about for the last three months. He seems in love.
Well, I’m closing for now. Hold your heads high. There are many more boy lovers than meets the eye. WORD!
All my love, Jose Luis! Until next issue!
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